Coils

by Ramona Falls

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1.
04:29
I squandered another day but that's okay she wasn't here, i lost my dear i slept through sixteen alarms, no fouls no harms no substitute can follow suit i'm staring off to outer space, any staircase is just a waste, there's no haste i cut myself with too much slack, enough to hang at least my hat and head in shame i got a nasty case of the vapours according to soothsayers, praying helps the prayers i got a nasty case of the vapours but praying helps the prayers the iron's on, it's scalding hot, to sear the rot to cauterize, avert your eyes it must be nice to have a cause, look past the flaws and seek applause, I couldn't care
2.
I could deliver a billion pillows wrap you up in gauze I could summon every doctor to pinpoint the very cause of your unrest but you won't say “yes” It hurts to lose someone when they choose they'd rather break away but surely you know that everything goes no matter what I say Does that mean it's wasted and shouldn't have happened? Would you erase it? cause he's not your husband? I can't save you, you're going to have to save yourself But i can't blame you, i've been in your shoes sometimes myself Don't throw yourself away Forgot how to swim and out on a limb you've carved into a plank “Only the sea will understand me" and offer an escape It's a leap of faith Does that mean it's wasted and shouldn't have happened? Would you erase it ? since he's not your husband? You speak of fallen saints I can't deny the dark but I despise a god who'd extinguish your spark
3.
4.
The righteous prey like cannibals out hunting heads cornering the dissidents And if you drown, well you're a witch that's how we'll tell You will never stand a chance Which side are you on ? and are you pure? can you be sure ? Which side are you on ? and are you pure? Prove that you're sure This is the symphony, this is the dance Who shall we crucify next by show of hands Bolt the doors and slam the gates I smell a rat We must not let it escape Champions of paradise fall in line Move the traitors to the plank Stick to the scripture of virtue we'll search you at random to ensure our roster is clear of impostors and make an example of those who trip up There won't be peace until everyone sees that the truth is owned and operated by me and my kind are aggrieved by the crimes of the ancient past
5.
I wish i could hear you. Clasp my lines like crumpled paper throw the tea leaves I remember what you said about your closest friends It was starin' me in the face the whole time, words that start with V, I made the mistake of thinkin' she wasn't smart I don't think you can enlarge without distorting it you wish people would stop asking you where it's from There are things i know i should do There are things i choose to do They're not the same, they're not even close Sure I guess you have bold but I'm talkin' pianissimo after you've given up being understood I can't imagine wanting anything as much as they want us dead I wish i could hear you. You like pressure, you asked me, I pressed Everything you told me about my past was wrong I don't think you can enlarge without distorting it you wish people would stop asking you where you're from Gotta be careful, gotta be reckless, pinch those knobby fingers together Since when have you obeyed anyone? Please distract me so I won't know i'm waiting If God is good, and you're good, then where does that put us? It's not even close. Well, we can't be lost, cause I know there's nowhere to be I find myself obedient to what I don't know to what's no longer here, to what has gone away
6.
I go along to get along I sing the songs but don't believe a single word Is there something wrong with me? I must be alone in my doubt I row in time, don't wanna be a drag I’ll even empty my wallet and give you all i can give Please don't notice I'm what one size doesn't fit I won't break your spell I'll do my best to blend in May the myths, which we all depend on guide us through to our inevitable end You have weeks so fill them with wine and be drunk on distortion of time so keep the bread and cup I just wanna wake up The marriage of fiction with fact suspend your disbelief in Acts Regardless of your heart you can't escape you're part Keep the good in
7.
8.
04:51
I want the forgiveness that's granted in the wake of a forced confession I want the asylum that's granted if i'd fake this one defection I want the consensus we could reach if i would take back my objection I want the assurance that others have in spades i'll go to heaven So many suitors saying “may i have this dance?” At the crystal ball your card is so full I’ll read it for you This is not enough This will never ever I want the stretch of another ring on my neck Whatever you want for I can read your mind and see through time I'll bend the truth to cradle you This is not enough This will never ever be enough A promise kept the way everything keeps at absolute zero
9.
04:06
You asked “what's the point of regrets?” and I really couldn't answer but leaving was the sweetest thing you ever did for me I took that 2am call after you saw the monster shaken by that photograph and inconsolable I grew sleepy then was never forgiven, no Now i know but you were doubled over I couldn't think it over Dissolved in a chemical bath my shapes fade from the photos First search then destroy reminders of your distant past Friends won't interfere in harmless delusions, no I never think about you except when I think about how strange it is I never think about you anymore If you don't want to get married, don't get married sometimes something so simple has to be spelled out If you don't want to get married, don't get married sometimes something so simple must be said aloud So remember, children, saying good bye when it's time is liberation 'cause it frees you to love
10.
11.
03:44
Your voice, your scent, your face Memories I hold in place A Phantom to simulate what drew me to you I know it's not real but it's as real as it gets If you don't come back soon I fear that I'll forget All that time I thought we were dancing I want you in the flesh, I’m through with ghosts I’ve saved for you my best, I’ve held out hope You're only next door but that's impossibly far If you don't come back soon I fear that I'll forget All that time I thought were dancing Was it just make believe? All that time i thought we were dancing with you in the lead Were you just an eddy, and me a leaf? Spinning with utter devotion but now the sickness has motion This is not the first time I've let myself be deceived You're giving me no choice, you leave me no choice You're leaving me no choice, you're leaving my mind
12.
I hear his father wishes they hadn't bickered over politics So much of their time spent in argument and bitterness When wouldn't he have preferred to help build his son's house To haul the beams, lay cement, to do it right the first time But what he didn't know is : the house was his boy before it and he collapsed without warning trapping those outside, howling for help from God from Jesus, from the same parties who'd withheld his lover from his bed, through the grapevine nowhere now in this emergency, but their cries grow quieter and darker like all sirens chasing answers from professionals like penance from priests whose costumes become grotesque walls of waiting for any explanation, as if it could exhume him and restore him to twenty-two and skinny fidgeting in his bed, tasting cities to decide where to build and blare his embarrassing music like a tea kettle that's singing “i’m ready, come pick me up”
13.
Effortless, I confess, like a prism, I refract Indigo, I don't know, violets seems all for show Of the men I wouldn't want to be Pick a side, I couldn't care a bit
14.

credits

released September 15, 2017

Guest Performances by Drew Shoals (drums), Andrew Joslyn (violin/viola), Joshua Roman (cello), Lauren Jacobson (violin), Kelly Pratt (brass/reeds), and Moorea Masa (backing vocals).

Mixed by Craig Silvey and assisted by Eduardo de la Paz at Toast, London.
Mastered by Jamal Ruhe for West West Side Music.

All songs © and Ⓟ Brent Andrew Knopf, Hot Water Freezes Faster, LLC
administered by Compositions of Rough Trade Publishing (ASCAP).
All Rights Reserved. Used by Permission.

Performed, Recorded, & Produced by Brent Knopf in Portland, Oregon at The Whimsy Room, except strings recorded by Andrew Joslyn in Seattle, Washington.

Thanks also to the Knopf Family and friends including Matt Sheehy, Stefan Nadelman, Josh Rosenfeld & Barsuk, Zach Stamler, Raymond Richards, Mike Jones, Krissy Gilhooly, John Askew, Dana Janssen, Shaun Gibson, Brian Wannamaker & Falcon Art Community, Barbara Jeffries, Samir Akou, Wolf Carr, Svetlana Andriyanova, Grace Krause, Hyun-Joo Park and Tara Beaudine of PSBM, Bank Robber Music, Maggie Vail & Jesse von Doom of cashmusic, and fans of Ramona Falls / Menomena / EL VY.

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Ramona Falls Portland, Oregon

Ramona Falls is the solo project of Brent Knopf of Portland, Oregon. See also the first 4 albums by Menomena, and, more recently, EL VY (an ongoing collaboration with Matt Berninger).

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